As we continue to work on our Godly marriages during this Love Month and look at Gary Thomas’ book again, Sacred Marriage, we learn more about this discipline of fellowship that brings the oneness which I believe, every marriage can achieve and are called to. And if we are not working toward this oneness, we are settling for so much less. Building on the work of handling the hard discussions/fights properly in a Godly marriage and deciding not to run from the conflict by choosing not to “flight,” let us now examine the second discipline to place on top of the first. How well do you compromise? Being able to compromise occasionally in your marital tug-of-war is a valuable asset to bring any relationship into His will, especially one that follows your promises of agreeing with our heavenly Father on your wedding day of who is the most important person on the planet to you.
“If you’re not working on your marriage, then you’re working on your divorce.” Oola Guys
Since you’ve stuck around this time and decided to fight for a good marriage, maybe this is one of those times to listen to her and see the good in her idea? Each person must give up something or become something sometimes to help this oneness to happen. It’s like putting cement in the foundation when each spouse values the marriage more than asserting their own rights, or even being right. Choosing to die to your rights, or just die to your simple opinion, is necessary at maybe every level of importance. Oswald Chambers, in My Utmost For His Highest, would call these mini-funerals of choosing to give ground and deciding to not die on this hill, and yet also not gloating when you’ve won that hill.
“Never settle.” Gabriel Andrews
Decisions from where will we go this year for Christmas or where should we park the car (which women have a gift for it seems), what name should we give this child, or to which wall should we hang this beautiful picture on? All of these can be great opportunities to respect your spouse and serve the other person in small or big ways. Hopefully it’s not the same person who is doing the respecting all the time, but please don’t try and figure that out or pay attention to that score. The Father is keeping it, if He even thinks it’s important, so just trust Him to keep the score close.
“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and then let him make her sorry to see him leave.” Martin Luther
Finally, we could say that all this compromising with your spouse and agreeing with them is simply a good practice to get into. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when our Loving Father is at work molding you into the person He wants you to be, and using your other half to do some of the chiseling. This could be one of those times. Agree with Him and give Him permission to finish what He started. He may want to use your spouse in this.
Have a blessed Love Month, and thanks for reading.