The third discipline of fellowship in our Godly marriage, in Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, is learning how to accept your spouse for who they are, and then be loyal to that person and honor the marriage. It’s reported that the common complaint given to most pastors and counselors that are counseling is, “He’s not who I thought he was.” Probably most of the reason for that is that the focus before marriage sometimes is all on the good concerning that other person and not having “eyes wide open.” And each one trying a bit too hard to put a best foot forward and not being completely vulnerable with important issues and weaknesses.
“A good marriage isn’t something you find, it’s something you make.”
After marriage the focus and/or perception changes on the spouse after a “honeymoon” period, and it seems like the person changed, but actually didn’t. The spouse simply relaxed at little and let their guard down some, and accidentally let some gas slip out in bed. We all need to throw away the lie of idealism and embrace the reality of your spouse. Realize that you both are simply two sinful people struggling to maintain a lifelong commitment in marriage. What is required of us is to learn the art of loyalty, and, again, falling forward in any conflict.
“As God by creation made two of one, so again by marriage He made one of two.”
That effort and resolution eventually leads us both to a greater marital satisfaction and the realization that our Father is using this marriage, every marriage on the planet, to draw us closer to Him. How we simply need Him. Plus He is continuing to shape the incredible geometric mystery of the supremely divine triangle relationship with your spouse. Therapist David Harvey describes it as, “ Placing the marriage in a high-priority position.” Actually in a holy-priority position.
“A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
Ruth Bell Graham